Passage
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” — Romans 12:2
Reflection
You laugh differently with one group than with another. With some people you exaggerate what you like, with others you hide it completely, depending on what seems acceptable there. It’s not that you’re being fake. It’s that fitting in feels urgent, and adjusting who you are seems like a reasonable price to pay for not being left out.
The problem shows up when you lose track of which of all those versions is actually you. Paul doesn’t say to stop relating to the world around you. He says something more specific: don’t let that world shape you from the outside, but let yourself be transformed from the inside, with a mind that grows clearer about who you are and what actually matters.
When God chose David as king, everyone expected it to be the oldest brother, the one who looked like he had the right image for the job. God tells Samuel something that’s still true today: “look not on his countenance… for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). The group looks at the surface, at what seems to fit. God is already looking at your inside, and that’s where it’s worth starting to build who you are, instead of building it around whatever the group of the moment expects to see.
Prayer
Lord, sometimes I change who I am just to be accepted. Help me not to conform to the mold others expect, but to let you truly transform how I think. Remind me that you already look at my heart, and that’s where I want to build my identity. Amen.