Passage
“Then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands… and be not faithless, but believing.” — John 20:26-27
Reflection
Thomas wasn’t in the room when the risen Jesus first appeared to the other disciples. When they told him, he didn’t say, “great, I believe you.” He said he wouldn’t believe until he put his finger in the nail marks. That’s a concrete, demanding, almost stubborn doubt. And you probably know that feeling: questions that make you feel like you’re failing at something you’re supposed to have figured out, doubts you don’t dare say out loud because you’re afraid they’ll sound like a lack of faith.
Eight days later, Jesus comes back. He doesn’t only show up for the ones who already believed without a problem. He comes back specifically to the room where Thomas is, and offers him exactly what he’d asked for: “reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands.” Jesus doesn’t shame him for having doubted. He doesn’t tell him he should have believed without proof. He gives him what he needed to believe for real, not a faked faith.
That says something important about your own questions. They don’t push you away from God. You can bring them, even the ones that scare you, and find that he’s willing to meet you there, in the exact spot where you’re stuck, instead of demanding you fake a certainty you don’t have yet.
Prayer
Jesus, I have questions I sometimes don’t dare say out loud. Today I bring them to you just as they are, without hiding them. Thank you that I don’t have to pretend I already understand everything for you to meet me. Amen.